Back To School
by Zombie Kitty
Summary: A love story for Mike and Sian [my friend] sorry this summary is rubbish, but if you want to check it out, you can, if you don't, don't. [FINAL CHAPTER UP!]
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything to do with CATCF, but if I did, I would have so have ran a LONG way away by now and gone insane... Or sold it to Sian (my friend) for the price of 5000 packets of chicken noodles... Errrr yeah...

Right, this is a surprise story I've started to write for the above mentioned Sian. (Who is currently enjoying a few days of torture with her mum & dad in Wales.) She was talking a few days about how Tom is writing a her/Draco fic, Lar is writing a her/Rimmer fic, yet there are no her/Mike fics. So basically I written this because I was bored and I wanted to get used to writing a character similar to her as I'm using a lot of her character aspects in an independant book I'm writing.

Anyway, if anyone wants to read and give me feedback on how I can inprove in the next few chapters - Fine by me, though if there are any plot holes or errors or anything, please bear in mind that I'm not that much of a CATCF fan, and that I have only seen the remake movie once - At 3am when Sian made me...

* * *

**Back To School**

Mike lay on his bed staring up at the ceiling, his legs were hanging off the end of his bed and ironically he felt like a freak. The doctor had said he should revert back to his normal size hopefully in just a few more weeks, and that the fact he already had dropped a couple of inches in height and spread out a little meant he was showing signs of improvement. But Mike still thought he'd probably be the first person in the world to have all body stretch marks.

He knew the spring term was staring tomorrow and though he did want to go so he could show off his knowledge and all the new things he had read and watched, for the first time in his life he felt afraid of being bullied – He had called the oompa lumpas little freaks, but if they were freaks for being a species that happened to be tiny and slightly David Dickinson like, what did that make him? He had been stretched on a TAFFY PULLER for God's sake!

He wondered about how the girls would react to him – Not that he had paid them much attention before he went to the factory, but now he was a kind of celebrity, and he knew of a few girls who used to think he was cute, but he guessed it didn't matter – not now he looked like a piece of giant bloody paper.

It was a weird feeling, knowing his body was slowly reverting to its original size, but the doctors had warned it could stop at any time making the problem permanent, and for once there was nothing clever or sneaky Mike could do to help.

He closed his eyes, dreading the morning because even though everyone knew what happened to him, he didn't particularly want to visually prove it…

* * *

Sian yawned and batted wildly at her alarm clock till it turned off. She sat up and looked at the clock that read "7:40am". She pulled off the covers and shivered as she pulled on a dressing over her cat pyjamas and wandered over to her wardrobe, she took off the necklace round her neck and used the attached key to open the door. Then she crouched down and brought forward a medium sized cage hidden in bottom of her wardrobe at the back, which housed Draco – Her secret pet ferret. She whispered softly to him as she fed the hungry albino animal. After a few minutes she stood up, and began flicking through the various clothes on the racks, wondering what the hell she going to wear on the first day back to college. She eventually decided on a pair of jeans, a comfy black t-shirt and some knee length boots. It wasn't she had too many clothes to wear, it was mix and matching the 4 or 5 outfits that actually fit her puny frame so they looked decent. 

She picked up the said clothes, relocked her wardrobe and walked out of her room in a daze to the bathroom for a shower. About 10 minutes later she remerged and dumped her night clothes on the bed, she picked up her school bag and hair dryer and dashed downstairs, picking some custard creams up in the kitchen on her way to the sitting room.

Bang on 8am she turned the TV to Channel 4 as the American sitcom 'Just Shoot Me' theme started, so she had 30 minutes to stare all gooey eyed at Dennis Finch (Played by David Spade) before having to deal with psycho mum…

* * *

Mike turned his hands over and over, thankful they were less stretched but wishing he could just be back to normal, he hadn't even played any video games or worked on his experiments since he came back from the factory a looser. But in some weird way he was now an experiment to the scientists, just like Violet who turned into a giant fruit and had had to be squeezed. 

He picked up his school bag and walked out into the chilly January morning. He sighed as he took each step through the thin, crisp coating of snow, towards the bus that had just pulled up at the stop down the road. He tentatively walked up the steps and scowled as he heard the teasing from the others, the scowl then turned to an expression of pain as he hit his head on the roof of the bus. He growled and showed his bus pass to the driver before shuffling down the isle. He then sat down in the first available empty seat and crossed his arms sulkily. Something told him it wasn't going to be a good day…

* * *

"SIAN!" A woman bellowed loudly as she breezed down the stairs and swung her handbag dangerously. 

"WHAT?" Sian yelled back, her eyes still transfixed at the screen.

"Let's GO!" Her mum said crossly as she stamped into the room, her arms folded decidedly.

"But my first lesson isn't till 10am." Sian protested meekly as her mum stepped in front of the TV, blocking the view of Dennis Finch flicking back his hair and being sarcastic.

"That may be but I'm dropping you off early as I'm meeting up with some friends to go shopping." Her mum replied haughtily as she pressed the off button on the TV and waited expectantly.

"I'll get the train!" Sian shouted frustratedly as she tried to turn the TV back on by aiming the remote round her mum.

"You will not, you might try and skip school for a day like you did last term!"

"Mother – I broke my wrist! I had to go to hospital!"

"Well it was your own fault!"

"That's IT! I'm walking!" Sian yelled as she grabbed her bag and stormed out of the house and down her drive.

"Well don't think I'll be cooking you any of your fancy vegetarian crap tonight!" Her mum hollered from the doorway as Sian disappeared round the corner.

"Like you would anyway!" Sian muttered as she saw the bus pull into a stop. There was no way she wanted to walk all the way there in this weather so she decided to blag a lift with the high schoolers, the bus drivers never minded anyway.

"Hey, mind if I hop on?" She said to the bus driver, smiling sweetly and blowing a piece of dark brown hair from her eyes.

"You got a bus pass?" The guy said, looking out sympathetically out the window at the cold landscape.

"Not anymore, you know that Chris! I may look like a 12 year old but I'm a COLLEGE student now… I just couldn't be bothered to break away from middle school!" Sian joked as she climbed in.

"Whatever Sian, I doubt many would notice the difference." Chris teased as he closed the doors after her.

Sian fiddled with the strap on her bag and looked round for a spare seat, all the children seemed to be yelling and laughing at something in the middle of the bus. She wasn't sure she wanted to get dragged into it, but there were no places left at the front so cautiously she made her way down the isle…

* * *

"Not so smug are you?" A boy laughed evilly as he poked Mike in the back of the neck with a pen while a blond girl turned round and looked deep into his eyes. 

"I can't believe I used to think you were cute!" She hissed, before turning to the slightly spotty guy next to her and kissing him deeply.

Mike sighed grumpily. "And what do I care what you all think?" He asked, hopefully sounding more confident than he felt.

"Don't mumble boy!" The kids around him mocked excitedly as Mike just groaned and tried to slump as far down in his seat as he could without sliding onto the floor.

"Here's some paper! Your most suited date!" One of the more retarded members of his class shouted, throwing a paper ball at Mike which missed, hit the window and then bounced back onto his knee. Mike shifted his weight and watched as the ball fell to the ground, the various name calling and teasing carrying on around him.

"Excuse me, sorry." Came a soft, high pitched voice as a girl moved down the isle, her bag hitting into the shoulder of the retard who had thrown the paper ball as she passed.

"Sorry." She muttered, looking up and pushing some hair behind her ear. She stepped forward and froze at the sight of Mike; she paused for a second before sitting down next to him.

"Oooooooh! Paper boy has a GIRLFRIEND!" The children mocked happily.

"What do you want?" Mike snapped sulkily as he leaned his head against the cold glass of the window and stared out at the houses they passed.

"I only sat down." Sian responded meekly, she had tried to keep Mike out of her head once she'd heard what had happened in the factory, but looking at him now she knew one thing – She still fancied him… Which wasn't great considering she had just turned 17 a few days ago and that he wasn't quite 13.

"Hmmm." Mike growled scowling as the kid behind him jabbed him with a pen again.

"I'm Sian." She muttered softly, trying to keep a conversation going to help him ignore the bullying.

"Am I supposed to care?" Mike responded, crossly.

"Well that's up to you." Sian replied quietly, fiddling with the strap on her bag again while she thought about how much worse this was than the time she had asked out the wrong guy through a door.

"Well I don't." Mike scowled before yelping in pain as the boy japed him with the pen again.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" He yelled, finally cracking as he stood up quickly, groaning as he banged his head on the roof again.

"You're paper, so I was writing on you!" The boy replied grinning widely.

"You really are a prat you know that?" Sian hissed angrily.

"We all know he is hun even if he doesn't." The pen jabber quipped before yelping with pain himself as Sian swung her bag round and whacked him round the head.

"In future please try and understand when I'm talking to you – It might teach you to know when it's a good idea to duck.

The boy growled then launched himself at Mike. "Look at what your _girlfriend _did to me you FREAK!" He yelled, grabbing Mike by the hair.

By now Mike had completely lost the temper which he had been trying to keep subdued and screamed loudly as he tried to swing the child off him, which was quite difficult to do in the small space anyway, besides all he seemed to manage was to whack various parts of his body on chairs and walls. After a moment a brainwave hit him and he straightened up and slammed the boy into the ceiling, causing even more booing and item throwing from the other students.

"RIGHT YOU! – YES YOU! - The giant gnat! Off the bus! – I'm not having you causing trouble on MY route!" Chris yelled as he turned the engine off and stormed over. "You too Sian! – I'm surprised at you!" Chris added as he grabbed hold of the two of them and escorted them to the pavement.

"But!" Sian tried to say but was drowned out by the sea of voices cheering and stamping their feet.

"Thanks a lot _SIAN_ – Now I'm gonna be late for school." Mike hissed as the bus drove off and he began to walk down the road quickly.

"Oh yes because I can REALLY tell you were looking forward to it!" She retorted, running a bit to catch up to him.

"Do you mind walking at least 10 paces behind me, then I can live under the delusion I have never met you?" Mike scowled as he strided on, wincing slightly.

"I can't believe you are acting like this! – I HELPED you!" Sian yelled, standing in front of Mike.

"I didn't ASK for your help now did I?" He shot back, looking down at her with folded arms.

"So I was supposed to do NOTHING was I?" Sian screamed, turning round in frustration and stamping her foot. "FINE! If this is all the gratitude I'm gonna get, I'll leave you alone." She hollered, her voice rising higher and higher in pitch, not noticing how much paler Mike had become, or how he was swaying slightly.

She stomped off, kicking the snow wildly as she did, but had only got a few paces when she heard Mike call her name, she smiled and looked round, expecting to see him apologise, but instead saw him faint and collapse with a thud in a heap in front of her...


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do NOT own CATCF, I don't want to and I never will want to.

Well my avid readers (All one of you) you've had to wait quite a while, but here is the next chapter, so have fun Sian and enjoy! (Hope I got you're mum's angry personality JUST right)

* * *

"MIKE!" She shouted as she dashed back and slid on the ice to her knees, something that would have been uncharacteristically graceful for Sian – If she hadn't been swearing in pain from the coldness and friction. 

She touched Mike's thin, limp arm but he barely responded except for a quiet moan, she shook his shoulder's and felt his body wince involuntarily – She took off her jacket and placed it under his head to try and make him more comfortable while she looked round for help… Then she felt it – A kind of gooey mass entwined with his soft, dark hair. She looked at her hand and gasped at the sight of blood – It must have happened when pen jabber had jumped him.

Her eyes continued to dart around but she could see nobody, not even a passing car or a bird perched in the trees – It was quite freaky.

"HELP!" She screamed, her breath condensing into a thick white cloud in front of her, but no one came. She cried out again but still nothing, then a thought occurred to her and she delved into her school bag to find her mobile. Her frantic fingers grasped blindly but found nothing phone like. She bit her lip and tipped the bag's contents onto the pavement, grabbing pens and books as they slid away – Then she remembered that she'd left it at home.

She hollered yet again as she thrust the contents of her bag together again and crouched over Mike, taking his head between her hands.

"Mike? Mike, I'll be right back – Ok?" She asked hurriedly as he winced, his head lolling over the thin jacket.

Sian ran up the path of the nearest house and banged on the door, but got no answer, she tried door after door but no one came – No one was there.

Then she saw something that made her scream inwardly in anguish – she noticed several net curtains twitching – It wasn't that no one was there, it was that no one CARED!

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? IS HE A FREAK? IS THAT IT? EVER HEARD OF THE GOOD SAMARITON STORY?" Sian yelled ineffectively as she tripped back down the path to the long shivering bundle of Mike.

She swung her bag over her shoulder and picked up Mike's bag too, she quickly riffled through it, finding a mobile, though the batteries were dead. She then swung his bag over her other shoulder and crouched next to Mike again.

"Mike? Mike? We gotta get to the hospital – We can ring from my house in the next street, I'd go but it's too cold to leave you out here." She whispered, surprised at how grownup…ish she was been. She gently removed her jacket from under his head and stuffed it into her bag.

Then she awkwardly picked up his body, and staggered down the road, like a drunk carrying an unconscious dead person.

Sian shuddered at both these comparisons her brain had made – She didn't want to think that Mike could die, and there was the possibility that she would have to go tea total for a really long time…

She shook her head as if to clear her thoughts and concentrated on walking towards her house. She cursed as she turned the corner and saw her mum's car still parked in the driveway – Why hadn't she gone yet?

Sian turned her head to look at Mike as best she could, and wished she understood what was happening to him – Of course he'd know – He was so clever and stuff like that.

She fumbled at the doorway trying to be as quiet as she could but instead managed to cause her and Mike to collapse in the hallway as she fell over her saxophone case that she had forgotten in her fury earlier.

Sian rolled over and touched Mike's feverish face gently as her mum's bellowing voice sounded from the sitting room.

"SIAN! What are you doing here?" She cried, followed by echoing footsteps across the floor.

Sian in a mass panic tumbled Mike into the hall cupboard and said a thousand sorry's inside her mind – Her mum would REALLY not understand the words 'good' and 'samaritan' especially if it was in relation to boys and missing lessons.

"Sian!" She yelled again as Sian turned round and looked up at her mother.

"I… forgot my Saxophone case." She mumbled truthfully as she picked herself up from the floor and started to gather her stuff up.

"Clumsy forgetful cow." Her mum growled as she tapped her foot and folded her arms.

"Why are you still here mum?" Sian asked as she tried to keep the panic and hysteria out of her voice.

"Well I decided I had a bit of time before I needed to meet the girls so I started to watch a DVD." She replied as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.

Sian growled in her mind – Her mum had just wanted the TV! But then if she HADN'T – Sian wouldn't have met Mike on the bus… But then again – Wasn't it her fault he was in this mess?... Kinda…

"Sian!" Her mum's exasperated cries brought her out of her thoughts and Sian moved guiltily to the wall.

"Well aren't you going?" Her mum asked, her foot tapping as quick and fiercely as Sian's heart beat.

"I errr…." Sian trailed off and glanced at the hall cupboard wondering if she should just tell the truth, but before she could say anything more her mum grabbed Mike's bag and held it up accusingly.

"Who's is this?"

"I found it." She mumbled looking away nervously.

"Liar! You've got a boy over, you whore! And don't try and lie, no GIRL would have a bag that smelt like this! The trainers reek!" Her mum continued to rant but Sian could no longer care, she just fled past her mother towards the phone.

"Come back here when I'm shouting at you! You're father will be so mad when he gets back from the shops!" She hollered before stamping upstairs to look for the boy she was sure would be hiding somewhere.

Sian picked up the phone with trembling fingers and pressed '999'.

In a shaky voice she asked for Ambulance and waited to be put through, jumping every time she heard a door being slammed or a wardrobe being flung open upstairs.

"I don't know what's wrong with him, his name's Mike Teavee – The contestant who went to Wonka's factory. He was attacked on the bus and then he collapsed… His head's bleeding and… I don't know what to do." If she hadn't been so stressed Sian would have congratulated herself on staying so calm and understandable.

In response to her address Sian paused then said they were on the pavement two streets away.  
With the news that they would be there in under 10 minutes ringing in her ears Sian stumbled back to the hallway but found her way blocked by her red faced and pissed off looking mother.

"GIVE ME THE KEY!" She hollered, grabbing her daughter by the shoulders and shaking her.

"Wha what key?" She stuttered as she wiggled free and stepped back.

"The key to your wardrobe! I know he's in there! I HEARD him! He must have locked it from the inside – Give me the key – NOW!" Sian blinked as she thought of poor Draco in his cage and gulped.

Her mum stepped forward menacingly causing Sian to take a step back and trip over her saxophone case… Again.

Sian's mother took her chance and pounced on her daughter, pinning her against the door before beginning to search her pockets, crying out triumphantly as she saw the glint of metal round Sian's neck.

She pulled it roughly, breaking the string and Laurel Champion dashed back up the stairs, leaving Sian to choke back tears as she crawled to the cupboard and opened the door, catching Mike as he collapsed into her arms in a heap.

She staggered to her feet, sparing only a second's thought for poor Draco as she picked up Mike's bag and slung it over her shoulder before clumsily opening the front door and stumbling out carrying Mike with her, She looked behind her at her bag and Saxophone then up the stairs as she heard her mum screaming "RAT!"

Sian gulped then kicked the Saxophone outside so her mum would trip when she came running after her – Well she had to do something to keep her spirits up.

Sian then grabbed Mike's arm to anchor him then hobbled down the snow covered drive and down the street to where she told the ambulance they were waiting…


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Don't own it, don't WANNA own it!

Well Sian, you are still the only person reading and reviewing! Nevermind, I did stupidly decide to write this for you in the first place! Anyway, read on and I know it's crap but still should bring a smile to your face - The last section should anyway...

* * *

She turned the corner but there was no ambulance, Sian kicked the snow with hr boots, trying not to drop Mike, though she had probably given him brain damage and internal bleeding all by herself! 

She suddenly felt tired, and the cold was making her shiver so much, she leaned Mike against a wall and slouched down next to him, looking at his thin, pale face with pity and affection.

The sound of sirens hung in the air and Sian's heart skipped for joy as the ambulance came into view. She jumped up and got their attention by waving madly and ran to meet them. Tearfully she explained what had happened as they climbed out and lifted him onto a stretcher whilst preparing to give him saline and other things that would help him stay alive.

Sian had long since descended into babbling but the medics didn't mind, their first priority was to get the patient to hospital, but the family and friends still needed reassurance.

The driver known as Carl hurried back to the cab and started up the vehicle whilst Emily checked Mike's pulse and gave him an oxygen mask.

She then looked at Mike, asking if he could hear her. Sian bit her lip to try and silence herself, and looked outside, gasping as her mother came limping down the street, a shoe with a broken heel in one hand and a cage in the other.

Sian began to hyperventilate but still strained to see if Draco was there, but the cage seemed empty… He must have escaped, which was just as well because as Emily shut the doors, Laurel screamed and threw her shoe and the cage at the ambulance in rage.

Sian jumped and fell off her seat, shaking in fright – Today could only get worse…

* * *

Laurel Champion was mad. And when she got mad EVERYBODY knew about it. And EVERYBODY knew that Laurel's favourite thing to be mad at, was her daughter. 

Laurel sat there in the road growling at the ambulance – She had seen that boy, she KNEW there had been one! Sian was a lying and conniving little bitch, and today was the day she was getting what she deserved.

Laurel stood up and walked over to the empty, squashed cage and kicked it with her foot. First she would ring round all her friends and relatives and complain about Sian, then she would find that little pet rat of hers and smash it's head in… with that bloody documentary DVD of the children's trip to that stupid chocolate factory. Next she would throw all of the little whore's belongings into the street, and then to end the day she would go to one of her favourite shops and buy a new pair of shoes to replace the ones she broke because of that bloody saxophone case.

Laurel smiled as she thought of her husband's expression when she told him – Today could only get better…

* * *

"Name, Mike Teavee, internal bleeding, concussion to the head, possible brain damage, we called his specialists on the 5th floor and I gave him…" Sian followed on behind, hearing, but not listening as Emily continued speaking in motion to the doctors as they travelled to the ER – She hadn't got past the words 'possible brain damage'. 

"I'm afraid you have to wait here." Somebody said as they stopped her at some red doors, Sian watching helplessly as Mike was pushed through on the trolley and out of sight.

"Miss?" Sian turned as a young man touched her shoulder. "Sorry to disturb you but can you fill out some forms at the front desk? I'm sure you're boyfriend will be fine." He smiled as he led her back to reception and moved round the desk.

"He's, not my boyfriend, we're just school…friends." Sian stuttered, her face turning red.

"I'm so sorry, I just assumed…"

"S'ok."

"We have the details of his parents on file from his visits to help recover from…"

"The incident with the taffy puller…" Sian finished where the receptionist trailed off.

"Quite… So, anyway if you just fill these out, is there anyone you want me to call?" Sian looked at him, his face full of concern, she ran her fingers round the sore marks on her neck where her mum had yanked the chain with the key.

"No… Hang on, yes, is it ok if I ring though?" She said as she continued to fiddle with her neck.

"Sure, now is there anything else I can do?" The young man touched her free hand that was still holding Mike's school bag and looked at Sian concernedly.

"It's ok, you've got patients to see, and stuff… Can you just give Mike's parent's this when they get here?" She asked as she lifted the rucksack onto the desk and turned to move towards one of the pay phones lining the far wall.

"Hang on, you didn't fill in your contact details." He reminded softly.

"Oh…" Sian bit her lip, before hesitantly filling in the details and phone number of who she was about to ring…

* * *

Draco the ferret was having a great time, he hadn't been this free since… Well ever! That weird crazy woman had scared him at first but now he'd forgotten all about that and was busy nosing about the kitchen looking for food. 

Poor thing didn't even see Laurel coming, but then again she didn't see the urine puddle Draco had made a few minutes ago either.

Laurel slipped and did a comedy fall onto her back, screaming a second time as Sian's DVD case whacked her on the forehead. Draco jumped and ran away as quick as his little legs could carry him, disappearing behind the fridge.

Laurel groaned and rolled over – Sian was gonna pay for this!...


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** That's right, I own CATCF...AHHHHHHH! Oh thank god - I was only having a nightmare! (Shudders)

Well this is the next chapter, not that anyone but Sian actually cares - But here it is anyway, and if there are any mistakes, it's because it's 11:25pm, I just wrote it, and I'm too tired to give it a more detailed read through. Anyway Sian - Read on!

* * *

Sian's fingers moved over the keys as she typed in a familiar number and waited, listening to the dialling tone, please pick up, her mind was screaming as she once again ran her fingers along her neckline. 

"Hello? Came a friendly female voice across the line."

"Hey, Mrs Rowland, its Sian, is Martin there?" She asked as she tried to keep her voice from breaking.

"Oh he's already gone to college, sorry."

"That's ok, tell him I'll come round later – Ok?" Sian bit her lip and thought about going home – Maybe she could still rescue Draco and her DVD's… Hopefully anyway.

"That's fine Sian, see you later." Martin's mother rang off and Sian was left standing in the hospital corridor, indecisively – Should she go to school, go home, stay here, or just wander around till she could go to Martin's house.

She sighed and decided she had to go home, she felt so tired and was beginning to wonder if she'd throw up. A part of her… Well most of her wanted to stay with Mike but it was partly her fault he was here and she didn't think his parents would take kindly to her, even if they seemed to be boring, accepting doormats on the documentary DVD…

* * *

Laurel was not in a good mood – Not that she ever was, but right now she was in a worse one than usual. She had caught her insolent daughter with a boy, Sian had ran away, She'd missed her shopping trip with the girls, her shoe heal had broken, she had been floored by the urine of an illegally kept rodent, and to top it off she had just dropped her daughter's collection of Red Dwarf and Friends DVD's on her foot whilst dumping it in the front garden. 

Laurel looked around menacingly – As if daring any nosy neighbours to poke their heads through the curtains. But all was calm, seemingly anyway.

She headed back inside to go empty Sian's wardrobe whilst checking for other illegal stuff, after all it wouldn't surprise Laurel if her insolent daughter was concealing drugs – She'd already hidden boys and plague carrying pets, cocaine wouldn't be that big a step.

Laurel was distracted by the sound of scrabbling and turned round to see Draco gnawing through the wire of her precious TV – The one she hogged day and night like a psychopath.

"I'm going kill you, you piece of vermin! Then I'm gonna chop you up and put it in one of those bloody vegetarian meals – I'll kill that bloody fad of hers!" Laurel screamed at the red eyed ferret who looked at her sceptically for a moment before dashing across the carpet and out of harm's way as Laurel dashed towards him, screaming as she tripped over one of the wires, a small electric shock stabbing through her foot which made her hair - that was usually scarily neat - stand on end like a giant ball of frizzy hair. Laurel caught sight of her reflection in the TV screen and screamed in anger

Laurel was DEFINETLY not in a good mood.

* * *

Sian looked up as she heard a bitter scream ring round from the direction of her house – And gulped. She shuffled up the pavement, kicking the snow in front of her feet and wishing it was all a dream… Actually most of her dreams DID include Mike, but they also tended to include Tom Felton, Chris Barrie and David Spade, usually omitting her mother – So she wasn't holding her breath on waking up in a nice warm bed any time soon. 

She sighed as she continued walking to the "House Of Doom", wondering if her dad was back yet… probably not, if he hadn't got lost in the supermarket he would have ended up at work, complaining about work as well actually, but that's beside the point.

The point being all her stuff was dumped in a heap in front of her house and her mother was stood in the doorway with a rather manic expression on her face, and a medusa style hair do to match!

"YOU!" Her mother shrieked, hopping towards her looking like one of the defeated burglars in Home Alone… Except she had managed to get thrashed by a small white ferret.

"Not good!" Sian breathed as she tried to put some space between her and her mother, opting to stand behind the remains of her desk… which for some reason Laurel had decided to break up and push out of an upstairs window… Then again her mother had never been very logical… Or understanding for that matter.

"Come here you little bitch, mummy wants a little word!" Her mother shrilled, looking even more manic by the second. In fact Sian wouldn't have been surprised if a door was suddenly to appear than Laurel could smash in then poke her head through whilst crying "Here's Johnny!" – Anything seemed possible today.

"Mother, Listen to me!" Sian pleaded as she tried to decide what to do – run away and come back for her stuff later, or barricade herself in the house and find Draco.

"Why? So I can hear what a disgusting little lying bitch you've been? Go on! Sod off to your boyfriend again and don't come crying to me when you get pregnant like a cheap little chav!" Sian took the words like a slap to the face as her mum continued to advance towards her, like a tiger circling its prey.

"And don't think I've forgotten about your little PET! I'm gonna get pest control in – That's right, And when they've killed him, I'm gonna chop him up, just like the little rodent deserves!" Laurel raged, a clear hint of menace gleaming in her eyes.

Sian gasped, her decision made as she began running – House barricade it was…


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Never have and never will own anything to do CATCF - anything CATCF that may come into my possession (like posters) are instantly sent to Sian for sanity purposes.

Sorry for the wait, and also for how rubbish this chapter is, but as this story is FOR Sian - I think that people shouldn't winge about the lack of Mike, it's up to you lot whether you read the story or lot. Anyway here's a Mike based chapter, but I've introduced another character - A sister, and guess what - SHE'S NOT CALLED MEGAN! (Mike writers gasp, faint and spasm)

* * *

"All the lies you've been hearing baby there all true!" Mike opened his eyes as the familiar off key singing reached his ears, he groaned and blinked as he became accustomed to the bright light. 

"God Nicole your singing is enough to bring someone out of a coma!" Mike muttered quietly.

"Shut up freak!... MUM! DAD! HE'S AWAKE!" Nicole shrieked as she jumped up and ran out of the hospital room.

Mike grimaced at her shrieking and closed his eyes again. He thought about the pain he was feeling and decided he would be fine once his broken wrist had healed and the concussion had worn off.

"Welcome back Mr Teavee." His specialist, Dr Carter said in that smarmy way that was just his general nature. "You gave us quite a scare but we put a few stitches in your head where that nasty cut was and once your wrist is healed and the concussion has worn off, you'll be as right as rain except for your other little… Problem." Mike sighed and responded to the Dr's comments the way he did whenever the patronising bastard talked to him – He gave him a sarcastic glare and turned away.

"Yes, well I'll be in later to check on your condition, but I have other patients I need to see." Dr Carter said quickly before turning on his heel and leaving the room.

"What happened to you Michael?" His dowdy mother asked as she sat perfectly on one of the hard backed chairs, her handbag placed neatly in her lap.

"Yeah Stick – Jonesy said you and Sian Champion from my Drama class got into a major fight and got thrown off the bus!" Nicole said excitedly as she climbed onto the bed next to him and began flicking through the songs on her ipod.

"Is this true son?" His father asked seriously as he stood by Mike's bed and adjusted his glasses.

Mike shrugged and sat up. "Not that it's any of your business! I didn't tell her to get involved."

"Michael, I can't believe you got put in hospital because of a GIRL!" His mother shrieked in a high pitched whine.

"And there's me thinking I got put in hospital for been two dimensional!" Mike scoffed grumpily. – Why wouldn't his parents just sod off and leave him alone?

"Mike, try and be nice to your mother." His father sighed wearily.

Mike rolled his eyes and turned over again so he was facing Nicole. _Get Rid Of Them!_

His eyes pleaded which in turn caused her to roll her eyes as she pulled the headphones from her ears and looked over at her parents.

"I think he's gone back to sleep." She said chirpily, before poking Mike in the ribs. "Yep, very deep sleep! Why don't you go get something to eat or something? I'll stay here with him!" She grinned her most innocent smile and watched as her very dull parents left the room.

"They've gone Stick!" She said after a moment before putting her headphones back in and turning the volume up loud so Mike could easily hear Minus Celsius playing.

"Did you have to poke me so hard you retard?" He asked sulkily as he sat up and ran his hands through his hair before yawning groggily.

"Oh don't be such a wimp!" She laughed as she leant over and gave him a hug.

"Back off you little freak!" He growled before smiling at his big sister – She was ok – As big sister's go.

"So, what's the deal with you and Sian then?" Nicole asked as she leaned her head back on the pillow.

"Nothing, she just whacked one of the retards in my year with her school bag." Mike replied as sincerely as possible.

"Uh hu – She got you to the hospital too you know, besides I know her and she's like TOTALLY into you!" Nicole told him in her gossipy tone as her head rocked slightly to the beat of her music.

"She is?" Mike asked sceptically as he raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, it's like TOTALLY icky, I mean she's 17 like me for Christ's sake!" She added as she grew bored of Minus Celsius and flicked to Down, Down, Down.

"She is? She only looks about 13." Mike said idly as he yawned and made an unconscious decision to go back to sleep.

"Yeah I know, but she's the one who introduced me to Backyard Babies you know." Nicole added with a grin.

"Oh joy."

"Could be worse little brother – I could have got involved in her Sugarcult craze the other year." Both shuddered and then there was silence for a second till Mike yawned again and snuggled as far down the bed and under the covers as he could without his legs falling over the end.

"Nicole, shift – I want to go back to sleep." Mike told her grumpily as he nudged her

"How RUDE!" She exclaimed as she stood up quickly to keep her balance. "Oh yeah, I brought you a prezzie Stick!" She told him cheekily as she stretched out in one of the arm chairs and digged into her jacket pocket.

"What?" Mike asked warily before rolling his eyes and groaning as she brought out a bar of Wonka's chocolate.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** You think I own something related to Charlie & The Chocolate Factory? WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT BEFORE I ZOMBIFY YOU! ... Erm, I mean, don't be silly - of course I dont!

Right, well it's 10:30pm ish, and hears the next chapter Sian, sorry it's a bit crap, but nevermind. Thanks to anyone else who's reading - If you can stand it... Oh and yep, I have written myself in, but only so I can take the piss more through the fic version of me!

* * *

"Nice day isn't it?" Stephanie looked up as she realised the bus driver was directing his comment at her. 

"Guess so." She replied before changing the song on her Starlight Express CD to 'Right Place, Right Time'.

"Though they forecast more snow for tonight." He continued cheerily.

"Really." Stephanie replied. Not that anyone would get away with calling her Stephanie… unless they liked eating their own guts for breakfast. Steph, or ZK, but calling her Stephanie was like swimming naked with several cuts in a pool of very hungry piranhas.

"Mind you, I'd rather be stuck in a years worth of bother than have my bus trashed by those damn school kids on a morning – And I've got the home run this afternoon." He added warily.

"Poor you." Steph said half heartedly.

"Doubt there will be much trouble tonight – Had to kick that stick kid off the bus, nice boy really, but strange…I had to get em off the bus though – If only to stop the bullying! It was either kick him and Sian off or everybody else!" Chris said with a half laugh, half frown.

"Hang on – Sian Champion?" Steph with shock.

"Yeah – You know her?" He asked turning round at a red light.

"Yeah, came down from up North to see her, and I suppose the 'stick' boy is Mike Teavee?" Steph asked with a sigh. She knew from the second Sian first uttered Mike's name from watching the factory documentary that nothing good could happen… Still could be worse – She could have got more mental than usual and started stalking Tom Felton.

"Who else could it be? Right, this is your stop for Si's house – just down that road there." Chris said with a smile as he opened the door to let off his only passenger on the bus.

"She doesn't like being called 'Si'." Steph said as she pulled her bag over her shoulder, picked up the cage by her feet, and jumped of the bus.

* * *

"Pleasure is the path to joy!" 

Mike rolled his eyes dramatically at his sister quoting adverts on the TV as he sat up. "Do you have to do that? It's very tedious. I may have played games all the time but at least I don't watch TV so much I know all the variations of the 'We All Love Clover' song!" He scoffed grumpily as she stuck her tongue out at him.

"Don't be soft… or flat." She giggled, prompting Mike to through a pillow at her.

"You have a rubbish shot you know." She said, cocking her head on one side and smiling cheekily.

"Don't worry; I'll get your big gob one of these days." Mike smiled back as he laid back as best he could with his missing extra pillow.

"God you sound so common! Mum and Dad would throw a fit."

"Oh shut up you freak." Mike said as he turned over again as best he could.

"Hey don't have a go at me! What's up with you now?" She asked as she passed him back the pillow.

"I've been thinking… You have Sian's number?" He asked as innocently as possible.

"It's in my phone – Don't think for one moment you can have it though! I'm not having my little brother go out with someone from my year – It would be… Icky!" Nicole shrieked, her face an expression of disgust.

"I just want to THANK her, that's all." Mike replied grumpily.

"Whatever Stick." Nicole said as she turned away and turned up the volume on the TV…

* * *

Steph raised an eyebrow as she walked towards Sian's house to find loads of things strewn around the garden and a crazed looking woman beating on the door. 

"Look like Laurel's having one of her madder than normal days huh Baba?" She whispered to Tini in the cage, who responded by howling to be let out.

"Shhhhhh, she doesn't know about you, but I don't really think she'd notice if a heard of pink elephants came walking past – So a midget girl talking to a cat should be nothing!" She said with a smile.

"Come out you little BITCH! So I can KILL YOU!" Laurel yelled before throwing bits of broken desk at the door.

"Ooooooookaaay." Steph said, sighing out as she spoke. "Backdoor it is then!"

* * *

Sian's dad turned into his street and drove down, careful for the icy patches. He looked at the scene in front of him – His wife was on the doorstep screaming, his daughter's furniture was scattered round the lawn, and there was a weird girl with a cat climbing over the gate. He thought for a moment and drove past his house and out of the estate back onto the main road – if that's what he'd really just seen, going to the pub for a drink wasn't really gonna make much of a difference!...

* * *

Mike leaned heavily on the counter at the hospital ward reception. "Hey… Hey!" He yelled at the receptionist who was checking through files with his back turned. 

"Yes?" The man asked, slightly crossly, but his eyes softening as he realised who it was.

"Erm, the girl who brought me in, any chance I can have her address… Or her phone number? To say thanks? I don't know her that well you see." Mike said, struggling to stay polite.

"I remember her – We shouldn't really though… I suppose I could give her a ring you – Let her know how you are." He said with a sigh as he picked out a folder from his desk.

"…Thank you."

The boy nodded and dialled the number. "Hello, is there a Miss Sian Champion there? Oh I see… Well that would be great… Ok, hang on a sec…" He said, breaking off as he scrabbled round for a pad and paper. "Right, I'm ready…"

Mike watched as he scribbled on the paper quickly, making 'right', 'yes', and 'got it' noises as he did so.

"Yep, that's it – Thank you, sorry for the mix up… Bye." He put the phone down and pushed a piece of paper towards Mike. "She gave the details of a friend, want to contact her – here you are." He said softly.

"Thanks… If I can read your bloody handwriting you retard." Mike muttered as he walked back to his room.

"What?" The receptionist looked up.

"Nothing!" Mike called back sweetly…


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** Even THINK about saying I own CATCF and die a slow, painful death!

Right, here's the next chapter Sian, again, I'm REALLY sorry it's crap again but hopefully it will make you smile... Or maybe hate me... I'm not particually sure..

* * *

"Where have you been?" His father asked as Mike came gingerly back into his room. "Your mother and I have been sick with worry!" He added as Mike sat down on the bed, scrunching the piece of paper into his hand. 

"I just went for a walk – Don't throw a wobbly!" Mike muttered as he laid back and closed his eyes, pretending to be sleep until he heard his father sigh then the door shut quietly.

Mike's eyes sprung open and he glared at Nicole. "Why didn't you cover for me you retard?" He spat as she rolled her eyes.

"First of all, I don't want you getting her number anyway – Otherwise I would have given it you from my phone, secondly –"

"You have her number in your PHONE!" Mike yelled crossly.

"Yeah, you don't honestly think I was gonna tell you that? She's great and all, but ain't no way you're going out with her!" Nicole replied in a 'Don't you mess with me Stick!' kinda way.

"I don't wanna go out with her freak! I just wanna thank her." Mike protested grumpily.

"Boy since when did you apologise for owt?"  
"…When did you turn into a black Yorkshire woman?"

"…I got bored and watched Emmerdale the other night." Nicole mumbled after a moment.

"…Figures."

"SECONDLY – I just wanted to see you get a telling off." Nicole grinned and ducked as Mike threw his pillow at her again.

"Boy, you need to get some new moves!" She scoffed happily.

"And you need to start acting your age… and race!"

* * *

"Draco?...Here, Dracy, Dracy"(sob)"…Draco!" Sian cried as she crawled along the kitchen floor, holding a packet of chocolate buttons in one hand, and trying her best to ignore her mum's shouting and banging on the front door. 

"Here Dracy, Dracy, Draahhh!" Sian yelled slightly, spilling the chocolate buttons over the floor in shock as a tap on the window startled her.

"Let me in! It's bloody freezing out here!" Came Steph's voice through the window.

Sian jumped up and ran to open the back door.

"ZK!" She yelled, hugging Steph.

"Do you mind? I nearly dropped the cage on my foot! No let go before I zombify you into oblivion!" Steph warned as Sian let go and shut the kitchen door as Steph put Tini's cage on the floor.

"Looks like your family were pleased when you told them I was coming to stay." Steph joked weakly.

"No, I…Mike-" Sian started but Steph cut her off.

"You met Paper boy on the bus, you got in a fight, Chris threw you off – I know." She said with a sigh, before looking down at Tini who was mewing in that squeaky way of hers.

"Can I let her out? She's driving me insane!"

"No! – Draco's missing! Mum found out about him, and she thinks I'm having boys over! And Mike's in hospital! And… And… And your treading snow and mud all over the floor!" Sian hyperventilated.

"Oops." Steph replied, kicking off her boots. "Right, and don't worry about Tini hurting or catching Draco – the only thing she can catch is a cold and a runny nose, and that's only coz they are genetic!" Steph said with a smile and a nod at her black & white, half Siamese cat as she unlocked the cage and lifted Tini out.

"Well will you help me pick up these choccies and find Draco?" Sian asked, running a shaking hand through her hair.

"Ok then – Oh by the way, if you didn't tell your parents I was coming, where were you planning on keeping me? – In your wardrobe with the ferret?"

"What kind of host do you think I am? – You'd have been in the basement with all the other un-dead house guests!" Sian said with a thin smile as she began to pick the chocolate buttons up and put them back in the packet.

"Thanks a lot… Though I prefer the attic – If there's a house ghost for me to chat to I bet you I'll find it up there!" Steph retorted, cuddling the now purring Tini.

"Something tells me it may be me who ends up being the ghost in the attic if mum's got anything to go with it." Sian replied sadly, jumping slightly as her mum continued yelling and banging on the door.

"Gawd, she doesn't half go on – She's gotta be thicker than you told me though otherwise she'd have come through the window by now!"

* * *

"Stick! STICK! I hereby FORBID you from ringing Sian – There's my school reputation at stake here!" Nicole said as she followed the determined looking Mike down the corridor towards the pay phone. 

"Nicole, you already have a reputation!" Mike retorted with a roll of his eyes.

"OI! Anyway, I FORBADE you from ringing her! So you can't!" Nicole said sulkily as she stood in the way of Mike and the phone.

"Look – _Spotty!_" Mike hissed, causing Nicole to gasp and cover her face. "I forbid you to do a lot of things – And you never listen, so move before I tell everybody at school that you go to bed with a pink teddy called Snookums!" Mike watched happily as Nicole swore at him and stormed off down the corridor. – Blackmail was a wonderful thing!

He turned back to the phone, and after hitting his head on a weirdly placed 'Mind Your Head' sign, began to type in Sian's home number…

* * *

"Sian? This may sound like an odd question… But where's your kettle? I wanna make some noodles." Steph said, putting Tini on the floor as she walked into the living room near Sian, who was walking round, still holding the packet of chocolate buttons. 

Steph and Sian looked up in shock as there was a crash and a kettle came flying through the window.

"Never mind." Steph said, watching as Sian struggled not to throw the chocolates into the air and all over the floor again.

Steph walked over to pick up the kettle but spun round as the phone rang, and simultaneously there was a shower of chocolate buttons.

"I have a feeling it's gonna be one of those days." Steph stated as she picked a chocolate out of her hair and walked over to pick up the phone…


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CATCF! (shudders at thought!)

Right, well here's the next chapter Sian! (Sian jumps around happily in the background) Yet again I'm sorry for it's crapness, but never mind! I think i can nearly see the end of the fic now... ut to be honest I really have no idea where this is going... Much.

Also - My deepest apologies to any other poor people who read this, for making Mike so OOC, and pairing him up with a mad girl like Sian, who's parents really are like that! (Though in real life I can be a TAD more normal than that!)

* * *

"Hello, welcome to the house from hell, my name is Steph, how may I kill you today?" Steph said as she picked up the phone, causing Sian to look at her in a 'You are demented but brilliant' kinda way. 

"Erm… I think I have the wrong number – I was looking for a Sian Champion." Said a confused voice on the other end of your line.

"The queen of insanity is here… What's left of her anyway, hang on…" Steph said before covering the mouth piece with her hand. "There's a boy on the phone for you… and judging by his voice I think it's Mike." Steph winced as Sian squeaked, only thankful that she had no more chocolate buttons to throw around.

"For the love of Satan take the phone!" Steph hissed as she held the phone out and moved to pick up the scattered chocolates… again.

"…Hello? Mike? Your ok?" Sian asked quickly, stumbling over her words.

"Apart from the stretched-ness and a few cuts and bruises I'll be fine… I just rang to say… Thank you." Mike and Sian sighed simultaneous breaths – Sian of panic, and Mike of relief he'd been able to say the words.

"W...W…What for?" She asked stuttering as Steph rolled her eyes in the background and dodged out of the way as a saxophone case got thrown through the window.

"I think you knew this already, but your mum is officially round the bend." Steph said as sincerely as she could, resting a hand on Sian's shoulder as she passed back into the kitchen, now holding the slightly battered kettle.

"What for? For… Defending me… Getting me to a hospital… Not judging me…" Mike trailed off, then kicked the wall next to him in anger – How come he was acting like such a retard? He didn't even fancy her! – Did he?...Mike groaned and was about to bang his head on the wall too, but then decided it was too much effort and just straightened up so he hit his head on the 'Mind Your Head' sign again.

"Are you ok Mike?" Sian asked shakily, jumping slightly as what looked like a shoe came flying through the broken window.

"Am I ok? It sounds like you have at least a dozen Manchester United fans in your house!" Mike exclaimed back.

"Oh… that's my mum…" Sian said before trailing off though Steph quickly grabbed the phone.

"You see Mike, She brought you here to call an ambulance, but her mum who is a total bitch thought she was a slut – But she isn't, but Sian hid you in the cupboard when you were unconscious, then her mum went upstairs and found Sian's secret pet ferret in the cupboard, who is now loose round the house, Sian got you to the hospital, came back, found Laurel – Her mum, tipping all Sian's stuff into the garden, then Sian barricaded herself in the house, then I arrived with my cat Tini… now also loose round the house, and Laurel is currently passing the time by throwing items through the window – But I'm glad she tossed in the kettle as I'm STARVING for some noodles now!... By the way that crash wasn't Laurel, that was Sian connecting her head with the wall in a panic attack." Steph stopped talking and took a few deep breaths.

"…And I thought I was weird." Mike said after a few seconds.

"I just thought I'd fill you in on the whole picture, oh yeah, the kettles just about to boil so do I tell Sian you want to ask her out on a date or not?... And just so you know, THAT crash was all of Sian connecting with the floor in a faint."

"…Are you always like this? You… Freak you." Mike said hesitantly.

"Mostly… Oopsy, kettles boiled, so do you want to go out with Sian or not.?" Steph said briskly.

"..As a thank you!" Mike said, wondering if this was how a deer felt when it had a car coming to hit it from one direction, and a bulldozer from the other.

"Right… You been released soon – Like today?" Steph asked as she knelt down next so Sian, trying to shake her awake.

"…Yes." Mike lied after a moment.

"Then be at the bus stop where Sian got on at… 6pm this evening. Ok?" Steph stated in a 'Don't you mess with me!' kinda way.

"Erm… Alright." Mike said confusedly, before hearing the dialling tone as the phone at the other end was hung up.

Mike slowly walked back to his room thinking. - He'd just realised he fancied a girl the same age as his sister, he was about to break out of hospital to go meet her and possibly her crazy friend, Sian's mum sounded demented and in need of a straight jacket… As did Sian's friend Steph, and he still looked like he'd been in an accident with a mangle… Happy days!...


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CATCF!

Chapter 9 - I am updating quickly! Basically because I want to get this story finished soon, but... Meh, I apologise for it's rubbishness, character wrecking... and the occasional bit of swearing.

Also, I think there's only like 2 or 3 more chapters to go now Sian, and I roughly know what's gonna happen - So YAY!

* * *

Steph hung up the phone and after taking another glance at the unconscious Sian, decided she'd finally go get her noodles! She walked into the kitchen, poured the boiling water over the noodles and then placed the bowl in the microwave, setting the timer for 3 minutes. 

Steph then walked back into the living room, stepping over Tini, who was in the way as usual, and walked into the hallway with the chocolate buttons.

She looked around for a few seconds then spied Draco in a boot and lifted him out. She rolled her eyes as Laurel continued hammering on the door. She put the chocolates in her pocket, held Draco in one arm, and then opened the front door – After putting it on the latch of course.

"Who the FUCK are you?" Laurel screamed, lunging pathetically at Steph, who was very safely out of harms way.

"Oh I know! It was never a boy! It was YOU! The LESBIAN TART!" Laurel ranted and raved. Steph responded with another roll of her eyes and cleared her throat.

"When you have composed yourself – You mad bitch, I will explain." She said calmly, watching with delight as Laurel froze out of shock.  
"Thank you, my name is Steph, your friendly uninvited house guest, and this is Draco, your friendly, uninvited house ferret! But he belongs to Sian, oh by the way, Tini – your friendly uninvited house cat, is asleep in one of your sitting room chairs! But don't worry, she's my pet!" Steph grinned, watching as Laurel's sanity crumbled away.

"And just so you know, I'm not having an affair with your daughter, but thank you for inquiring! She is going out with Mike Teavee, the boy you were searching for this morning as he was injured and Sian was trying to get him to a hospital. Now I just thought to tell you – if you REALLY wanna get in, why not just jump through one of the windows you keep smashing?" Steph stopped speaking, and watched as Laurel's mouth opened and closed like a fish.

Steph then shut the door and moved back through the living room as she slowly counted to 10, placing Draco and Tini in Tini's cage as she did so, watching as the pair stared blankly at each other before curling up to sleep.

"3…2…1…"

"FUCKING HELL!" Steph heard Laurel scream in pain and anger from outside – Steph took the bowl of noodles out of the microwave with oven gloves as it pinged. _Maybe I should have told her to make sure there was no excess glass round the window to hurt her hands on?_ Steph thought to herself with a sly smile…

* * *

Mike looked up at the clock ad he sat back on his bed – 1:55pm give or take a minute. He basically had 4 hours to kill… Oh joy. 

He looked over at Nicole who was sat in the chair, turned away from him, listening to some music.

"Nicole?" He asked as he laid down, kicking her chair with his foot lightly to get her attention – one of the perks of his extra spin frame.

"What do you want." She spat sulkily.

"Look, I don't think anything I do should be determined by you, and just because your acting like a spoilt brat, it doesn't give you the right to say, who I can and can't talk to on the phone, as well as who I can and can't meet up with!" As soon as the words left Mike's mouth, he groaned.

"YOU'RE MEETING UP WITH HER?" Nicole screeched in horror. "DAAAAAAAAAAAD!" She hollered, fleeing the room.

"Looks like I'm checking out early." He muttered as he quickly changed into some clean clothes of his that his parents had brought, grabbed his school bag, and left the room.

He made his way as unnoticeably as he could, down the corridor and through the door which led to the emergency staircase, when he reached the bottom he slipped out, past reception, and out into the cold, January afternoon.

He flagged down a taxi and after ignoring the strange looks and embarrassing comments, gave the Taxi driver the address of the bus stop – He'd rather wait there till 6pm than go to Sian's house – They all sounded like complete nutters!...

* * *

Steph put a spoonful of noodles into her mouth and after savouring the taste, bent down next to the still unconscious Sian, and with her now spoon-less hand (it was in the bowl) she slapped Sian round the face. 

"AHHHHOWWW! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?" Sian yelled as she sat up and held her hand up to her left cheek, where she'd been slapped.

"To wake you up." Steph replied simply.

"Oh CHEERS for that, I… Oh. My God!" Sian spluttered suddenly.

"I take it you remember our little phone call with Mike?"

"WHAT DID YOU DO!" Sian screamed in blind panic.

"Calm down for Danny's sake!" Steph sighed, she opened her mouth to say something else, then paused and giggled at the word 'Danny'. "…Right… Where was I?... Oh yeah! Mike's meeting you for a date at 6pm at the bus stop down the road." Steph watched with glee as a cross between insanity and euphoria crossed over Sian's face.

"I also kinda explained stuff to your mum, but then I caused her to cut her hand on broken glass – so I think leaving soon would be a good idea." Steph explained as she took another mouthful of noodles.

"Oh, and I found Draco!" She added, nodding towards Tini's basket with housed the aforementioned cat, and a sleeping Draco.

"Oh thank Satan!" Sian gasped as she knelt down next to the cage.

Suddenly they heard an engine revving and looked out to find Laurel sat in her car, and driving towards the front door.

"THIS IS FOR MAKING ME MISS THE SHOPPING TRIP WITH THE GIRLS!" Laurel screamed, looking not unlike Cruella DeVil or some other clinically insane woman.

"Time to go." Steph and Sian said simultaneously as Sian grabbed the cage, and Steph her bag, and the pair legged it out of the back door, just in time as Laurel crashed the car through the front door and into the hallway.

Sian and Steph scampered round the side of the house… temporary demolition site, and over the fence, they surveyed the damage.

"I can't believe she just drove her car into the house!" Sian exclaimed in disbelief.

"I can't believe she made me drop my noodles!" Steph replied angrily.

Laurel, who was magically fine, climbed out of the car and staggered towards the girls.

"Hey Steph, how about a little run?" Sian asked as she backed away.

"Excellent idea!" Steph replied as they turned and ran as fast as they could down the snowy road…


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CATCF, and I deffo don't wanna!

Oh lookie Sian! - Yet another chapter for you to read when you get home! And I'm determined for this story to last just one more chapter, so chapter 11 should be the last one... but there MIGHT be a 12th chapter, but... We'll have to see.

Anyway, this story is now officially the longest story I have ever written! (cries as it is a CATCF fic) Again, I must apologise for the crapness of the story...

* * *

Mike paid the taxi driver and got out carefully – So as not to hit his head on the taxi roof. He had been stood by the bus stop for no longer than about 10 seconds when down the street he saw Sian, and another girl who he presumed was Steph, running towards him. – Sian was carrying a cage with what he guessed was the ferret and cat inside, and Steph had a bag over her shoulder, behind them was a manic looking woman screaming, swearing and issuing death threats at the two girls. 

"Well today is officially worse than the factory trip." Mike muttered, as he quickly looked to his right and saw a bus come trundling along…

* * *

Sian and Steph ran as fast as they could, as they turned the corner they saw a very confused Mike stood at the bus stop. 

"Well he's keen!" Steph joked through gasps for breath, trying to ignore Laurel who was gaining on them.

Mike yelled and pointed at the bus that was pulling into the stop, and the two girls willed their legs to go quicker.

"COME BACK HERE! YOU WON'T GET AWAY FROM ME!" Laurel hollered behind them, not caring that most of their neighbours had been sat on their doorsteps watching the entertainment for quite a while now – Some had even brought popcorn!

Mike hopped on the bus and without directly looking at the bus driver, told him to wait. Sian and Steph rounded the corner and stumbled onto the bus.

"SHUT THE DOORS!" All three kids yelled, the bus driver complying quickly so as Laurel reached them, she was faced with a shut door.

"Sorry to sound a bit bossy, but I think now would be a good time for you to continue on your route now." Steph said after taking a moment to catch her breaths as she and Sian flopped into the nearest seats.

"Erm… Ok…" The bus driver said, wondering if maybe he should have become something a little less dangerous and demanding…

"Hey! It's the guy that through us off this morning!" Mike exclaimed at Chris the bus driver, who gulped and started the engine, suddenly wishing he had other passengers on board apart from Mike, Sian and Steph… Then he looked out his rear view mirror at Laurel who was still ranting in the middle of the road and decided maybe not.

"You're here again?" Steph asked, surprised.

"What can I say? The governments been sacking people again, and I seem to have no life." Chris sighed as he swung the bus round the corner.

"Erm… Ok then." Steph replied as she lifted the cage onto one of the seats.

"Right, where do you wanna go?" Chris asked after a moment.

"Erm… Don't you have to follow the thing known as a bus timetable?" Mike said with a roll of his eyes.

"Technically, but the only time I really get passengers is during the school run! People don't seem to like public transport anymore." Chris explained.

"Well we love it." Steph said as she leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes.

"Well, if we can go anywhere – Take us to the hospital." Mike said after a moment.

"Why there?" Sian asked, looking up with a worried expression on her face.

"Well speaking technically… I should still be there." Mike admitted sullenly.

"Oh great, MARVELLOUS!" Steph said dramatically.

"Your parents are gonna hate me." Sian sighed, holding her head in her hands.

"Erm… Depends how much they hate dead people." Mike replied, looking out the back window of the bus.

"What do you…Ah." Steph said as she saw Laurel in her battered car – which still had bits of house on the bonnet, come spluttering round the corner after them…


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CATCF! No I don't! I really, REALLY don't!

Guess what Sian! - Last chapter! It is VERY VERY VERY VERY crap though, but I don't care because this fic is OVER! CLOSED! FINISHED! ENDED!... You get the idea!

* * *

"I'm seriously gonna ask for a rise after this!" Chris exclaimed as he zig zaged along the quiet road, trying to avoid the patches of ice on he road, and being hit by Laurel and her crap, battered car. 

"You know Sian, your mum keeps coming back so much she would be a worthy opponent for Nemesis from the Resident evil 3 game." Steph said absently as she clunked in some coins to the meter to pay for her, Sian and Mike's fare – She maybe strange but she still honest… Mostly.

"Well that's something that's gonna fill me with confidence! Meet my mother, she's not someone you'd like to meet much but it would be cool to see her engage in a fist fight with a genetically mutated computer character!" Sian spat back in panic as the car whacked the side of the bus, the tap causing the bus to spin out of control on some black ice and tip over.

Sian coughed and rose to her knees, crawling along the floor…roof. "Guys?" She called out feebly.

"Over here!" Steph called back as she sat up, rubbed her head and lifted down the cage which had been wedged securely between two seats. Steph's memory flicked back to when she had said: _"I have a feeling it's gonna be one of those days."_… "You know, sometimes I really hate being right." Steph muttered as she checked the animals were ok and then started to follow Sian down to the front of the bus.

"You get Mike, I'll go to Chris." Steph said to Sian as she stood up shakily and went over to the upside down driver's seat where Chris was unconscious.

"Chris? Chris – You alright?" She asked gently, shaking his shoulder.

"Wha? Yeah, I'll be fine after an aspirin and a vacation." Chris joked as he managed to unfasten his seatbelt and fall out of his seat onto the roof…floor…whatever.

"Ok, make that two aspirin." Chris muttered as Sian helped him to his feet.

"Mike? Are you ok?" Sian asked worriedly s she knelt down next to him.

"Oh yeah, I'm just dandy!" Mike scoffed as he groaned and sat up.

"Oh thank god!" Sian replied, flinging her arms round Mike and kissing him.

"Erm… Do you mind waiting till AFTER we are out of life threatening danger to do that?" Steph asked with a roll of her eyes as she pushed the emergency exit button.

Sian suddenly realised what she was doing and pulled away from Mike. "I'm SO sorry! I…I…" She tried to move away, but Mike grabbed her arm, and pulled her back so they made eye contact.

"…Don't be." He said gently, struggling to his feet.

"Will you two hurry up?" Steph asked as she started to climb off the bus, holding the cage in one hand, and Chris leaning on her for support.

"Coming." Sian and Mike muttered as they followed the others off the bus…

* * *

Laurel sat in her bashed up car, mumbling to herself – The bus had tipped upside down! What look, she sat watching – And waiting, to see who, if anyone came out alive. After a few minutes she saw that weird, rude bitch and the bus driver come stumbling out… Followed by Sian and that Mike Teavee boy! – Laurel felt her anger grew as she put her foot down on the accelerator and drove straight at them. 

"MOVE!" Steph shouted as she helped Chris across the road.

Sian and Mike looked round in blind panic, they were about to climb back on the bus but then noticed a fuel leak and instead hobbled after Steph and Chris – Jumping desperately as Laurel and her crapmobile came roaring towards them… And straight past them… Into the bus.

Sian and Mike looked at each other in horror and shielded each other as there was a huge explosion and the bus and car – Including Laurel, all blew up and disintegrated in a sea of flames (YAY!)

Sian sat up in shock, her mum was dead! She thought about this turn of events for a second… _Oh well!_ She shrugged, before looking back at Mike, who was smiling softly back at her.

"Better make the most of this time guys – Before the onlookers, emergency services, press, bus company people, insurance folk, and Mike's family arrived." Steph said, as she and Chris slouched down against the nearest wall to rest.

Mike and Sian looked deep into each others eyes and kissed – They didn't need telling twice!

The End

(Hallelujah!)


End file.
